So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
