My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
