he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
