This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize