whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
