and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
