Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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