in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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