You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You took a bar mat shot.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
