a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Boobs speak an international language.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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