dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It was confusing and full of hummus
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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