dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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