Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
