my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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