just come out here and I will go home with you...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
