Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
