I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
