I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize