We won't sleep together?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
