And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
