Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
