I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
