You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
