i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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