we have officially lost it.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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