New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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