Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
