Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
