I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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