Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
