Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
