She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
