Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
