You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
