Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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