There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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