Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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