Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
