is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
