i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
