Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
