He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
