Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
