TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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