i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize