I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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