perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
