Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
