you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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