she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
