atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize