what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
