Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize