is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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