His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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