He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
