On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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