if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
